Day 8 – Hineni In Grief
Psalm 34:18
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
Sometimes “Here I am” sounds like, “I’m hurting, but I’m still turning toward you.”
Christmas can be a liminal space—a thin place where joy and sorrow sit side by side. We celebrate traditions, gatherings, and feasting, yet we also carry the weight of divorce, death, illness, financial strain, and relationship wounds.
For many of us, this season is not only festive but deeply painful. Studies consistently show that stress and depression rise during the holidays. I’ve felt that shift myself—entering November with excitement and anticipation, only to meet December with heaviness. I have a loved one who battles depression almost every December. Our bodies feel both the ache of what once was and the ache of what should be.
Are you hurting or brokenhearted this Christmas? Do you feel ashamed of your grief or the swirl of emotions within you?
Hear this: the Lord is near. He invites you to cry out to Him, to reach for Him in the middle of your sorrow. Are you lonely? Walking through the valley of the shadow of death? Weighed down by sickness or depression?
You are not alone.
As you turn toward the Lord—even with trembling hands and a hurting heart—know that He is already turning toward you.
Day 9 – Hineni When You’re Tired
Matthew 11:28
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
God does not ask you to be strong—He asks you to receive His rest.
There is a story of Elijah that has ministered in times of exhaustion. After giving himself fully to God’s work—confronting the prophets of Baal and witnessing God’s power—Elijah collapses under fear and exhaustion. He reaches a point where he even wants his life to end. And how does God respond? He meets Elijah right where he is: in the wilderness, beneath a tree, too tired to pray or move. God gives him food, water, sleep, and space, and He renews Elijah’s strength.
I know what it feels like to pour myself out for family, business, and ministry until I am bone-weary. I’ve opened my eyes in the morning already longing for bedtime. I’ve stared at a to-do list that feels endless and found myself rushing from one thing to the next, forgetting to slow down, breathe, and simply be.
But presence—true presence—is one of the most powerful ways we open ourselves to the rest God wants to give us.
Christmas time can stretch us thin. It demands more energy, more planning, more giving, more showing up—sometimes more than we actually have. In the midst of that weight, where is God inviting you to simply be? Where is He asking you to stop, to breathe, to rest?
Have you eaten something nourishing today? Do you need a nap? In the midst of all your yeses this month, are there some things you need to say no to?
Let this be permission: receive the rest God is offering you.
Day 10 – Hineni When Christmas is Complicated
Luke 2:25–26
“Now there was a man in Jerusalem, whose name was Simeon, and this man was righteous and devout, waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. And it had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not see death before he had seen the Lord’s Christ.”
Simeon’s story holds both joy and sorrow—hope fulfilled and a prophecy of piercing pain. His experience reminds us that it’s okay if joy feels tender this year. Your “Here I Am” is enough.
Christmas can be complicated. In our family, we have three sets of extended relatives to celebrate with, on top of our own immediate-family traditions. By early November, we’re already planning out the December calendar, trying to make room for each gathering we’ve chosen as meaningful. We work hard to simplify our holiday season, yet it still feels layered and complex.
And it’s not just logistics—it’s emotions too. Decades of history, personality differences, and tender places exist in every family system. We love our families deeply. We choose to show up. And we choose to be gentle with ourselves and each other when unexpected emotions surface.
I imagine your Christmas is complicated too. Maybe it’s the schedule, finances, or family dynamics that make joy feel both real and fragile.
It’s okay.
Your presence is enough.
The way you show up—whether with laughter, tenderness, or even tears—is enough. And if someone you love sees you cry this month, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It simply means you’re human. It means you’re real. Presence—your honest, imperfect presence—is a gift.
How can you show kindness to yourself when Christmas and family dynamics feel complicated?
How can you show kindness to those around you who are also navigating the complexities of this season?
Day 11 – Hineni in Motherhood
Isaiah 66:13
“As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you.”
As you comfort others, God is comforting you.
I am a mother. I have seven children, as well as a beloved daughter-in-law and son-in-law. My life is full of comforting—or at least the attempt to comfort. My youngest has experienced heavy trauma, which requires near constant co-regulation of her nervous system. This means my own nervous system is frequently in a state of exhaustion and longing for calm.
Several years ago, in a therapy session, my counselor encouraged me to imagine God as a mother. He referenced scriptures where God is described as a mother hen protecting her chicks. This imagery resonated deeply with me. My favorite piece of art in my home is a painting of a mother swan sheltering two young birds under her wings amid a swirling storm. It hangs by my bed, often the first thing I see when I wake and the last thing before I sleep. It reminds me daily of God’s protection, care, and comfort.
You don’t have to be a mother to be a comforter. As human beings, created in God’s image, we are wired to connect with and to soothe others. I imagine that most days, you comfort someone—maybe a child, a spouse, a friend, a coworker, or even a beloved pet.
God wants you to know that as you comfort others, He is comforting you—like the kindest, most attentive, warm, and understanding mother you could ever imagine.
When your nervous system feels activated this holiday season, pause and ask God to comfort you, just as a mother comforts her child. Receive His comfort. Let it settle over you, steadying your heart and calming your soul.
Day 12 – Hineni for the Overwhelmed
Luke 10:38–42
“Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, ‘Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.’ But the Lord answered her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.’”
You don’t need to perform for God—just show up as you are.
After a season of intense work starting our dance studio, Lighthouse Dance, we held a worship night in our studio. As I worshipped the Lord, pouring out my heart through song and dance, I heard His voice speak to me: “No more striving. Work from a place of rest at the feet of Jesus.” I was overcome. God met me where I was and spoke exactly what I needed to hear, guiding me to the place of rest I had been craving.
How often do we strive for perfection in our lives—performing for God, for our families, for others—when what is most needed is simply to show up and listen? Listen to the Lord. Listen to your spouse, your children, the people around you. People long for connection, not perfection or performance. God longs for connection, not our perfection or performance.
Serving can feel overwhelming. If you find yourself there today, stop. Take a breath. Spend some time with Jesus. Sit at His feet. Then serve from a place of rest, listening and following His lead.
Day 13 – Hineni in the Waiting
Luke 2:36–38
“And there was a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was advanced in years, having lived with her husband seven years from when she was a virgin, and then as a widow until she was eighty-four. She did not depart from the temple, worshiping with fasting and prayer night and day. And coming up at that very hour she began to give thanks to God and to speak of him to all who were waiting for the redemption of Jerusalem.”
Advent is waiting. And waiting is worship.
When I get to heaven, I want to meet Anna. I want to hear her whole life story—how she felt when her husband died, why she never remarried, who she prayed for, and what she heard the Lord speak to her. I want to hear every detail of the day she saw baby Jesus. I believe Anna’s decades of praying, worshiping, and fasting all culminated in that single moment. What great rejoicing must have filled her heart! God saw her as a young widow. He saw her as an old woman. And He met her every day in her waiting.
Life is full of waiting. In a way, our lives are a series of one waiting period after another. God is with us in the waiting. Our waiting can be a beautiful offering, a quiet Hineni that says, “Here I am, Lord, even in the not yet.”
Where are you in the waiting?
What are you waiting for in this season of your life?
How have you experienced God’s presence with you in the waiting?
Day 14 – A Word for the Weary
Psalm 34:18
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
This week we’ve walked through places of weariness, grief, and heaviness. Advent is a season of both joy and sorrow, and God meets us right where we are—in every emotion, every struggle, every vulnerable place.
We don’t need to perform or strive. We can simply offer our presence, saying, “Here I am”—to the Lord and to those around us.
How can you acknowledge your own story and grief this December?
How can you extend compassion to others, seeing their struggles with care and understanding?
What small gifts—words, presence, acts of attention—might bring comfort or hope to someone else?
I believe the light of Christmas would shine brighter and warmer if we were honest about how difficult December can be. I believe we would be more grateful for Jesus—the One who came into our darkness, despair, and messy humanity—if we first met Him in the truth of our own hearts.
*Here you can find a Hineni Advent Spotify playlist I’ve created with songs paired to each devotional for your further reflection and enjoyment.